Tending the Landscape of Chronic Pain—With Forests?
Could a forest be part of an effective care team for people experiencing Chronic Widespread Pain (CWP)? Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay A 2016 study conducted in Korea offered participants a two-day forest immersion with clinical and therapeutic support. The group included a psychiatrist, rheumatologist, forest therapist, and nature guide. The intervention wove together movement, mindfulness, psychoeducation, and the forest’s own medicine. Outcomes included measurable improvements in: Physiological relaxation Immune functioning Pain and depression scores Quality of life For those of us working in healthcare or systems of care, this study affirms what many already sense: health isn’t only a clinical condition—it’s an ecological one. Connection to place, rhythm, and non-human kin has therapeutic value that exceeds what most reimbursement models track. I’m not a CWP sufferer myself, but I’ve benefited from forest bathing practices. I recently completed one of the Feel Good Forest Bathing courses by UK-based physiotherapist Jan. The practices are simple, restorative, and trauma-informed. (I’m also an affiliate: BETH10% offers a discount if you’re interested.) Might forest bathing become a prescribable modality in the future? Maybe. But even before then, we can start weaving these insights into how we understand health—relationally, metabolically, and compassionately. #SomaticMedicine #ChronicPain #ForestTherapy #HealthIsRelational #CareBeyondClinics
The Tough Decisions Caregivers Face
After coming to terms with my father’s cognitive decline, my brother and I were confronted with a harsh reality: home was no longer a sustainable option. The house that had been a place of comfort and memories was now a source of stress, risk, and growing uncertainty. As much as we wanted to hold on, we knew that waiting too long to make a change could leave us with fewer and less desirable options for his care. One of the biggest concerns we faced was the need to transition him into an Assisted Living facility before his cognitive state declined further. Many Assisted Living facilities have requirements—if a resident’s cognitive impairment progresses beyond a certain point, they may be moved to Memory Care. While Memory Care provides necessary supervision, it often comes with more restrictions, less independence, and a very different living environment. We wanted our father to have as much autonomy and dignity as possible for as long as possible, and that meant making a move sooner rather than later. Selling his home was one of the most difficult and emotional steps in this process. This was the house where we grew up, where birthdays were celebrated, where countless memories were made. Sorting through his belongings felt like peeling back layers of our family history, each item a reminder of the life he had built. The logistics of preparing the house for sale—coordinating with real estate agents, dealing with legal paperwork, and handling the emotional weight of it all—was overwhelming. Through it all, my brother and I leaned on each other. There were moments of frustration, disagreements over the best approach, and nights filled with exhaustion. But we both knew that at the heart of every decision was our father’s well-being. We had to put aside our emotions and focus on what was best for him. The process of searching for an Assisted Living facility was another daunting task. We toured multiple places, each with its own set of strengths and weaknesses. We had endless questions—how involved was the staff? What was the community like? Would our father feel at home? It was a delicate balance between finding a place that met his needs while also feeling like a place he could comfortably transition into. There were no easy answers in this journey. Every choice felt like a compromise, a trade-off between what we wished could be and what reality demanded. But as difficult as these decisions were, we knew we had to make them with courage and urgency. In the next post, I’ll take you through the search for the right Assisted Living facility—the questions we asked, the challenges we faced, and the moment we knew we had found the right place for our father to call home.
The Power of Compassion
My father and I had a close relationship when I was growing up. He was my protector and savior. I looked up to him for guidance and problem-solving until I became an adult. He watched me grow into an independent woman who no longer needed him in the same way. Over the years, as I became more successful and built a family of my own, something shifted. He began envying me. I often wondered why my father, who loved me dearly, wasn’t happy about my achievements. In the rush of life, I forgot the details of my childhood experiences with him. I believe I was unconsciously omitting what didn’t feel good and holding onto the idealized image I had created as a child. Everything became painfully clear when I had to care for him after his cancer diagnosis. His anger surfaced more vividly, and his old demeanor showed his true face. He was dealing with immense physical pain and depression due to his prognosis, but none of this justified the way he was treating me. The first time he yelled at me—because I had moved his glass of water from the counter to the sink—it triggered a flood of memories. His loud voice and negative comments hit me like a ton of bricks. As an adult, I suddenly felt like a five-year-old child again, unsure of how to deal with the emotional abuse. I found myself grappling with an impossible question: How do I balance compassion with boundaries? He was sick, after all. Should I walk away, knowing he needed care? Should I yell back and show him that I, too, could be as forceful as him? Or should I bring compassion into the space, ignoring my past experiences and the present unfair treatment? Wrestling with Inner Conflict My spiritual side was completely conflicted. I believed in treating myself with kindness and respect, yet here I was, enduring verbal abuse from someone I loved. This wasn’t the journey I had imagined for myself. Allowing even my father to mistreat me felt like a betrayal of my values. But how could I leave him when he needed me the most? I lost countless nights of sleep over this. By day, I felt as though I was walking on thin ice, learning to avoid topics that might annoy him. I adjusted to his flow of questions and concerns, keeping conversations shallow to avoid conflict. He was in his world, and I often became his emotional punching bag. Over time, I realized I needed to protect my well-being. I started reducing the hours I spent caring for him and allowed other family members and friends to step in. I made time for myself—treating myself to a massage or taking long walks in the park. I began journaling, reflecting on what went well each day, and releasing the negativity by attaching forgiveness to it. I reminded myself that one day, I would look back and cherish the small moments of quality time we shared, even amidst the challenges. Lessons in Compassion and Boundaries This chapter of my life taught me a profound lesson: compassion has its limits. It’s okay to say, “Not today, but maybe tomorrow.” Just because he was my father didn’t mean he had the right to mistreat me, especially when I was showing up for him wholeheartedly. Finding Support This type of situation is difficult and often embarrassing to share with friends or family. If your immediate circle cannot offer the support you need, consider joining in-person or online support groups. The last thing you want to do is store these emotions in your body, where they can act as poison. Let them out. Above all, remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. Compassion starts with yourself. Only then can you offer it to others without losing your peace. Namaste, Shab
The Onset of a New Crisis
A Brief Moment of Stability After my mother’s passing, life began to stabilize. Though the grief was still fresh, I found comfort in the daily routines that provided a sense of normalcy. Being a single mom had its challenges, but I focused on creating a stable environment for my daughter. My professional life also picked up pace as the divorce and custody battle finally settled. With the legal conflicts behind me, I threw myself into my career while remaining deeply involved in my daughter’s life. Rebuilding and Focusing on Career The resolution of the custody battle allowed me to redirect my energy towards rebuilding my life. I re-engaged with my job, striving to achieve professional growth while balancing my role as a mother. Weekends were dedicated to making the most of our time together—exploring parks, baking, and enjoying simple family activities. The stability we created helped strengthen our bond and provided a much-needed respite from the earlier chaos. Facing New Challenges Just as things seemed to settle, a new crisis emerged. My father began experiencing troubling symptoms, which eventually led to a diagnosis of Transverse Myelitis. This rare and debilitating condition brought a fresh wave of challenges. The diagnosis required me to step up once more, taking on the role of caregiver for my father while still managing my responsibilities at home and work. Balancing Responsibilities Caring for my father, who lived two hours away, added significant stress to my already demanding life. Frequent trips to his home, managing his medical care, and juggling my daughter’s needs became overwhelming. The strain of trying to be present for both my father and my daughter took a toll on me physically and emotionally. Coping Mechanisms To cope, exercise became a crucial tool for me. It provided a necessary outlet for stress and helped me maintain my strength during these challenging times. Support from friends and family was also vital, offering both practical help and emotional encouragement. Though I didn’t seek out formal support groups, these personal connections were instrumental in navigating this difficult period. Managing Expectations I had to adjust my expectations and learn to accept help from others. Delegating tasks and asking for assistance helped lighten the load and fostered a sense of shared responsibility. Balancing my roles and responsibilities was not easy, but accepting this reality allowed me to focus on what mattered most and find moments of joy amidst the challenges. Looking Forward As I moved forward, I remained focused on the ongoing needs of my father while continuing to support my daughter. The experiences of this period underscored the importance of perseverance and self-care. Each challenge faced was a testament to the strength and resilience developed during these trying times, shaping how I approached future obstacles and opportunities.
A Fragile Balance of Responsibilities
Juggling Parenthood and Household Responsibilities As a full-time stay-at-home mom, my days were a balance of nurturing our daughter and managing the household. Every morning began with a flurry of activities: preparing breakfast, dressing our little one, and planning the day’s activities. My husband traveled frequently for work, leaving me to navigate the challenges of parenthood largely on my own. Despite the exhaustion, I found solace in the moments of connection with our daughter. Her giggles, curiosity, and boundless energy became my driving force, infusing our home with warmth and love. Struggles of Solo Parenting Solo parenting brought its own set of challenges. Without my husband’s presence, there were days when loneliness crept in, and the weight of isolation was palpable. Evenings were the hardest, with the silence of the house amplifying the absence of adult conversation and companionship. Yet, amidst these struggles, there were moments of profound connection and growth. Bedtime stories became our nightly ritual, a time for bonding and nurturing our daughter’s imagination. Her innocent questions and wonderment at the world provided me with a sense of purpose and joy. Seeking Support Recognizing the need for support, I reached out to friends and family. Playdates with other moms became a lifeline, providing both social interaction for our daughter and a much-needed outlet for me. Sharing experiences and tips with other mothers who understood the challenges of solo parenting brought comfort and camaraderie. Family visits, though infrequent, offered respite and a chance to recharge, reminding me that I wasn’t truly alone. I also began to explore community resources, attending parenting groups and workshops. These gatherings not only provided valuable insights into child-rearing but also created a network of support. Connecting with other parents facing similar struggles helped alleviate the sense of isolation and reinforced the idea that seeking help was a sign of strength, not weakness. Building Resilience Despite the myriad of challenges, these years were marked by a growing resilience. Each obstacle we faced and each milestone we celebrated strengthened our bond as a family. However, the constant strain of solo parenting began to take a toll on our marriage. The prolonged absences and lack of shared experiences created a rift between us, making communication and understanding increasingly difficult. Despite these strains, I developed a resilience that would later prove invaluable during even more challenging times. The experience of solo parenting taught me to be resourceful, patient, and adaptable. It deepened my empathy and understanding, shaping me into a stronger individual. These early years were a time of profound personal growth, and the resilience I built would carry me through the tumultuous times ahead, when the responsibilities of caregiving expanded to include my ailing parents.