Take the “I Statement” challenge
Do you ever use “I Statements”? What’s your experience with them? Helpful? Annoying? Something else? “I-Statements” are a communication strategy for bringing up a concern or addressing a conflict with another. They typically follow this fill-in-the-blank format: I feel _____________When you _____________Because _____________I would like _____________ Yet, like so many communication strategies, many variables can make a simple method more complicated than meets the eye! See what you think about this “I-Statement” challenge. Three nurses are at the nurses’ station. Two are talking about a new policy and a third, Donna, is reviewing a patient’s lab results. Donna is finding it difficult to concentrate. Which is her best statement? Image by Yerson Retamal from Pixabay 1) Shhhhh, stop talking! 2) I’m frustrated with your talking. It’s hard to concentrate and I’d appreciate it if you would quiet down. Answer It depends on what the relationships are and what Donna would like them to be! If Donna has a positive history with them, #1 is probably fine. They’d likely apologize, lower their voices, and move on. If Donna doesn’t know them or there is tension among them, Donna would be wise to use an “I statement”, like #2. It would likely be perceived in a less-threatening more collaborative manner. These are important considerations in building new relationships or being more cautious when unresolved conflict may be present. An “I-Statement” encourages speakers to show ownership about a concern, want, or need. It includes identification of emotions and invites other speakers to participate in the conversation in a collaborative fashion. In short, “I Statements”, when used properly: Increase the chance of effective communication and collaboration Lead to more efficient problem-solving and conflict resolution Validate many different perspectives Build and nourish relationships Build self-awareness, self-respect, and self-efficacy They are not perfect or always effective yet, “I-Statements” are a valuable tool in building effective communication skills and collaborative relationships. Medical Improv is a teaching modality used to build communication skills and promote trusting relationships. In the high-stakes, high-stress work of healthcare professionals, interactions should be effective, respectful, and compassionate – for everyone!
Loneliness and Its Silent Toll
Life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes, it can feel like we’re navigating it all alone. Most of my greatest moments with friends have been meaningful conversations over tea or coffee. We attempt to solve every issue in our lives, kindly judging ourselves for the wrong turns we might have taken and laughing about it. Women, in particular, need this type of deep bonding to overcome life’s obstacles. True friendship is a spiritual practice. It not only keeps you dedicated and devoted to one another but grounds you as well. Women have a unique ability to create a safe space for each other—one where the other person can grow, heal, and lean on her in times of need. This kind of space enhances the self-confidence that one might lack, allowing her to feel loved by another human being. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel isolated, even when surrounded by people. This sense of loneliness can quietly lead to depression, anxiety, and a growing sense of disconnection from the world around us. We don’t just feel it in our hearts, but in every organ of our body. When loneliness spreads throughout our physical system, every cell senses the uncertainty of not being loved or being ignored. Our stress levels rise, and over time, chronic aches and pains surface like termites quietly eating away at the foundation of our well-being. Our foundation weakens when this powerful connection is nowhere to be found. We are naturally wired to nurture and connect, and when we surround ourselves with like-minded souls, we create a web of love and support that strengthens our mental, emotional, and even physical health. When we share our stories with others, we feel heard. This act of release lightens us and brings joy, creating room for healing. The importance of celebrating each victory in our lives with a good friend cannot be overstated—it opens up more opportunities for success in the future. How many times have you thought about calling someone dear to you to share good news? How often have you planned birthday gatherings to celebrate yourself or another? All these gatherings, for one reason or another, remind us that we are here to share life experiences and feel stronger as beings. The act of sharing life with others creates a sense of belonging, which is vital for maintaining balance in our minds and hearts. Feeling understood and supported can make all the difference in how we view the world and ourselves. Friendships nourish us. Whether we connect with old friends from college or new people in our new town, we crave connection. The more people we interact with, the more our emotional hearts open to love. With all the advances in technology, it might seem that we should be able to connect more easily, but it doesn’t always feel that way. We’re getting further from one-on-one visits with friends. Talking on the phone or texting may suffice for a while, but being in each other’s presence—feeling the joy of a friend and hearing her laughter as you share a funny story—is a whole different experience. Offering a treat to your friend or sharing your culinary talent with her is a gift that technology cannot replace. While video calls and images on a screen are perfect for distant relatives and friends, for those close by, we should make the time to visit and maybe even exchange a hug to show our love. Today, I watched my two-year-old granddaughter saying hello to everyone and approaching others on the playground. This teaches us to pick up the phone and reach out to a friend, to say hello to a neighbor and exchange a few sentences, or to invite friends to a small gathering. Show up to gatherings and step out of your self-made cave to feel connected and grounded once again. Don’t let loneliness become another chronic issue in your life. We all have something to share with others that they, too, are seeking. Nameste, Shab.
Mindfulness Techniques – Using Mindfulness to Manage Stress and Emotions
Last week, we explored stories of resilience and hope, which underscored the importance of staying positive and determined throughout your breast cancer treatment journey. This week, we’ll focus on practical tools to help you manage the stress and emotions that often accompany treatment—specifically, the transformative practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of being fully present in the moment, and aware of your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings without judgment. It’s not about pushing away negative feelings but about learning to coexist with them in a way that reduces their power over you. Research from the Mayo Clinic has shown that mindfulness can significantly reduce stress, enhance mood, and improve overall well-being. For anyone undergoing the physical and emotional challenges of cancer treatment, mindfulness can serve as a grounding and empowering practice. Benefits of Mindfulness During Treatment Cancer treatment often brings uncertainty and stress, making it easy to feel overwhelmed. Mindfulness can help by providing a sense of control in the midst of chaos. By focusing on the present moment, mindfulness encourages you to take things one step at a time, rather than worrying about what lies ahead. This shift in perspective can reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and even help manage pain. Moreover, mindfulness has been shown to positively impact emotional health by fostering greater self-compassion. Instead of being hard on yourself for moments of vulnerability or fear, mindfulness helps you accept these feelings as part of your journey, allowing you to move through them with kindness and understanding. Simple Mindfulness Practices to Try Deep Breathing ExercisesOne of the easiest ways to practice mindfulness is through deep breathing. Find a quiet, comfortable space and sit in a relaxed position. Close your eyes and take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on the sensation of your breath as it moves through your body. Repeat this process for a few minutes, allowing your mind to settle and your body to relax. Deep breathing not only calms the mind but also lowers your heart rate and reduces tension in the body. Mindful Meditation Set aside five to ten minutes each day for meditation. Start by sitting quietly and focusing on your breath. You can also use a mantra or affirmation, such as “peace” or “strength,” to anchor your thoughts. It’s natural for your mind to wander—when it does, gently bring your focus back to your breath or mantra. Over time, this practice can help you become more aware of your emotions and thought patterns, making it easier to manage stress and negative feelings. Body Scan MeditationThis technique helps you connect with your body and release physical tension. Lie down in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Starting at your toes, slowly bring your attention to each part of your body, moving upward to your head. Notice any sensations or areas of tension without judgment, and imagine releasing that tension with each exhale. A body scan can be particularly helpful before bed to promote relaxation and restful sleep. Mindful ActivitiesEveryday activities, such as eating, walking, or even folding laundry, can become opportunities for mindfulness. Focus entirely on the activity at hand, paying attention to the sensations, movements, and sounds involved. For example, when eating, savor each bite—notice the flavors, textures, and aromas. These simple practices help bring mindfulness into your daily routine. Accessing Mindfulness Resources Many cancer centers, including MD Anderson, offer mindfulness resources tailored to patients. These may include guided meditation sessions, yoga classes, or support groups focused on incorporating mindfulness into your life. Online platforms and apps like Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer also provide accessible mindfulness exercises you can practice anytime, anywhere. Making Mindfulness a Habit Integrating mindfulness into your daily routine doesn’t require a significant time commitment. Start small—just a few minutes each day—and gradually increase as you feel comfortable. The key is consistency. Over time, mindfulness can become a natural part of how you navigate life’s challenges, providing you with a steady sense of calm and resilience. As we move into the next month, we’ll focus on the role of your radiation therapist in supporting you throughout your treatment. Building a strong, trusting relationship with your therapist can enhance your overall experience, making your sessions more comfortable and reassuring. Mindfulness, combined with the care of your medical team, creates a powerful foundation for your physical and emotional well-being.
Are We Quick to Judge?
What do we do when someone who is sick decides to hide her diagnosis from everyone around her? When my friend was diagnosed with a late stage of a rare cancer, we all noticed her behavior changed. She changed from a social butterfly to an isolated individual from her closest friends and loved ones. Not only did her new behavior make things more challenging for herself by leaving her with little support, but it also denied her family members—who had become her caregivers—the support they needed. Most of the time, she was in good spirits and acted as if life was normal. However, on bad days, pain and fatigue drained her energy. She is an intelligent person with more knowledge about the medical field than the average person. She had always followed a healthy diet, exercised regularly, and supplemented her body with herbs and a holistic lifestyle. She was probably more shocked than anyone by her diagnosis! Why was she hiding her experience from others? What was going through her mind? This behavior continued for months after her diagnosis. No one could call or visit her. She refused all contact. Only her primary caregivers were allowed to help her with treatments and doctor appointments. Caring for a loved one who is sick is not an easy task. It comes with a flood of emotions and guilt. Watching her deteriorate took a toll on her children. They decided to share her diagnosis with close family members, such as cousins and aunts/uncles, under the condition that no one contact her directly. Instead, they would receive updates about her progress to ease their worry and sadness. This act of sharing provided much-needed support for her children. Even if it was just phone calls, they felt loved and cared for. They began having honest conversations with their mom. Without overwhelming her with the prognosis, they expressed their concerns about how the disease was progressing despite treatments. They spent quality time with her, showing their true love and care. Weeks later, my friend found the courage to call some of her best friends. She talked for hours, explaining her situation in the positive light she chose to see. She later told her daughters that talking about her illness helped her return to reality and confront the harsh truth. She had created a bubble for herself to stay calm and collected. The thought of dying scared her. She knew she might not beat this monster, but she was trying to live as normally as possible by continuing her routine. We can all judge her behavior endlessly. But the fact remains: it is her right to choose how she wants to cope with her disease. This is a journey that no one can walk for her, and she knows it. A journey where she rethinks every experience, questions her lifestyle, feels guilt for roads not taken, and seeks forgiveness. She is going through so much on her own; who are we to expect more from her? Why can’t we let her be in these final moments of her life? Most likely, her worries are far greater than whether others know about her diagnosis. Let’s give her the space and respect she deserves. She has already lost her independence and privacy. What more could we demand of her? Let’s show her love and compassion by abiding by her rules. Maybe ask her: What can we do to ease her burden on this journey? If she doesn’t seek companionship, what else might bring her joy? The next time you hear about someone’s diagnosis, put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: If this were me, how would I react? The next time you hear about someone’s diagnosis, put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: If this were me, how would I react? Namaste, Shab
Crafting a Stellar Impression at Your New Gig!
Starting a new job can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking experience, and making a good impression during the first week is crucial. Your actions and behaviors during this period can leave a lasting impact on your colleagues and supervisors. To ensure a positive reception, it’s essential to avoid certain missteps that could tarnish your reputation. First and foremost, punctuality is key. Arriving late to meetings or work events can reflect poorly on your time management skills and professionalism. Giving yourself extra time to navigate the office or commute is advisable to account for potential delays and ensure you’re always on time. While confidence is important, coming across as a know-it-all can alienate your new colleagues. Instead of criticizing existing processes or procedures, demonstrate openness to learning and adapting to the company’s way of doing things. Asking thoughtful questions and expressing curiosity can showcase your eagerness to contribute positively to the team. As a new hire, it’s advantageous to leverage your status by reaching out to colleagues and building relationships. However, it’s essential to be strategic and thoughtful in your approach. Avoid sending generic messages to everyone, and instead focus on making genuine connections with those you interact with. Adhering to the company’s dress code is another crucial aspect of making a good impression. Take cues from your hiring manager or refer to the employee handbook to ensure your attire aligns with the office culture. Dressing appropriately demonstrates respect for company norms and professionalism. Maintaining professionalism also extends to avoiding oversharing personal information with coworkers. While it’s important to be friendly and approachable, divulging too much about your personal life too soon can be off-putting. Strike a balance between cordiality and professionalism in your interactions. Maintaining professionalism also extends to avoiding oversharing personal information with coworkers. While it’s important to be friendly and approachable, divulging too much about your personal life too soon can be off-putting. Strike a balance between cordiality and professionalism in your interactions. Similarly, refraining from engaging in office gossip is imperative. Aligning yourself with any particular group or participating in gossip can create unnecessary tension and conflict in the workplace. Stay neutral, change the subject, or speak positively about the individual being discussed if necessary. Establishing a good rapport with your manager is paramount during your first week. Proactively seek opportunities to touch base with them, ask for feedback, and clarify expectations. Building a strong relationship with your supervisor can lay the foundation for a successful and fulfilling tenure with the company. Lastly, take the time to reflect on your experiences during the first week. Pay attention to how colleagues discuss their roles and responsibilities, and evaluate whether your manager is providing adequate support and guidance. By being mindful of your actions and continuously seeking opportunities to learn and grow, you can navigate your first week at a new job with confidence and set yourself up for long-term success.
Dining Decorum: Secrets from the Serving Side
In today’s dining scene, there’s been a noticeable shift away from rigid etiquette norms towards a more relaxed atmosphere, allowing for a more enjoyable dining experience. Insights from a former restaurant worker and a seasoned waitress shed light on this evolving dynamic. Despite the decline in fine dining establishments, certain guidelines remain essential for ensuring a smooth and pleasant dining experience for both patrons and staff. Phone usage is a significant aspect of modern dining etiquette. While it’s acceptable to use phones, excessive usage can impede communication and detract from the dining experience. Furthermore, excessive photo-taking can disrupt service and compromise food quality, particularly in upscale restaurants. Advising against such behavior helps maintain the ambiance and ensures a pleasant experience for all diners. Effective communication plays a vital role in dining out. Encouraging patrons to ask questions about the menu facilitates clarity and enhances their overall satisfaction. Additionally, responsible alcohol consumption is encouraged to maintain a pleasant dining atmosphere and avoid inconveniencing the staff. Awareness of one’s consumption is key to fostering a positive dining environment. Consideration of the workload of the staff is essential when placing orders. Patrons should refrain from demanding excessive samples or substitutions, as these can strain servers and disrupt the dining flow. Understanding the limitations of the “customer is always right” mentality is crucial, as respect for the establishment’s policies ensures a harmonious dining experience for all parties involved. Settling the bill should be done thoughtfully, taking into account the staff’s workload. Simplifying the payment process by avoiding splitting the bill with multiple cards is advisable, especially during peak hours. By communicating preferences early on and being mindful of the staff’s efforts, patrons can contribute to a smooth and efficient dining experience. Overall, adherence to these guidelines fosters a pleasant dining environment, promoting enjoyment for both patrons and staff without the need for specific names.
Secrets from the Serving Side
In today’s dining scene, there has been a noticeable shift from rigid etiquette norms towards a more relaxed atmosphere, allowing for a more enjoyable dining experience. Insights from a former restaurant worker and a seasoned waitress shed light on this evolving dynamic. Despite the decline in fine dining establishments, certain guidelines remain essential for ensuring a smooth and pleasant dining experience for patrons and staff. Phone usage is a significant aspect of modern dining etiquette. While using phones is acceptable, excessive usage can impede communication and detract from the dining experience. Furthermore, excessive photo-taking can disrupt service and compromise food quality, particularly in upscale restaurants. Advising against such behavior helps maintain the ambiance and ensures a pleasant experience for all diners. Consideration of the workload of the staff is essential when placing orders. Patrons should refrain from excessive demands for samples or substitutions, as these can strain servers and disrupt the dining flow. Understanding the limitations of the “customer is always right” mentality is crucial, as respecting the establishment’s policies ensures a harmonious dining experience for all parties involved. Settling the bill should be done thoughtfully, accounting for the staff’s workload. Simplifying the payment process by avoiding splitting the bill with multiple cards is advisable, especially during peak hours. By communicating preferences early on and being mindful of the staff’s efforts, patrons can contribute to a smooth and efficient dining experience. Overall, adherence to these guidelines fosters a pleasant dining environment, promoting enjoyment for both patrons and staff without the need for specific names.
The Secret Playbook of Job Interview Success
The article discusses seven unspoken job interview rules that can significantly benefit job candidates. These rules shed light on the often mysterious hiring process and provide insights into how to navigate interviews effectively. The first rule emphasizes the importance of presenting a “highlight reel” of your career rather than an exhaustive list of experiences when asked about yourself. This concise approach is crucial in time-restricted interviews, allowing candidates to address other questions effectively. Rule number two underscores the significance of understanding the roles of individual interviewers. Tailoring responses to their specific concerns and expectations can enhance your candidacy. For example, a peer may focus on collaboration and teamwork, while a manager may prioritize your ability to make independent decisions. The third rule highlights the role of body language in interviews. Effective communication extends beyond words, with body language playing a vital role in conveying your engagement and active listening skills. Rule four encourages candidates to prepare multiple career stories to share during interviews. Having a repertoire of success stories to rotate among interviewers can make you a stronger candidate and prevent redundancy. Rule five addresses the frustrating issue of post-interview silence. It clarifies that follow-up emails or nudges are unlikely to expedite the decision-making process, and silence may indicate waitlisting. The sixth rule discusses the practice of sending thank-you notes after interviews. While these notes can be beneficial for networking, they are rarely the deciding factor in a candidate’s selection. The penultimate rule advises job seekers not to accept a job without speaking to current or former employees who can provide insights into the company’s culture, management, and work environment. In conclusion, these unspoken rules demystify job interviews and provide valuable guidance to candidates. By focusing on a highlight reel, tailoring responses, mastering body language, sharing multiple career stories, understanding the post-interview silence, treating thank-you notes appropriately, and seeking input from peers, candidates can navigate interviews more effectively and make informed decisions about their prospective employers.
Finding the Perfect Age for Solo Halloween Adventures
The decision of when kids should be allowed to trick or treat without an adult is a matter of judgment that depends on various factors. Here are some key considerations to help you determine if your child is ready to go trick-or-treating without adult supervision: Age: The general consensus is that around the age of 12 is an appropriate time to let kids trick-or-treat alone. However, every child is different, and some may be ready earlier, while others might need more time. Safety Concerns: Consider the safety concerns in your neighborhood. Are there sidewalks, streetlights, and low traffic? If your area has limited visibility and high traffic, it might be safer for kids to be accompanied by an adult. Visibility: Make sure your child is easily visible to drivers and other pedestrians. Use flashlights, glow sticks, reflective tape, and other visible accessories to ensure they can be seen in the dark. Costume Safety: Ensure that your child’s costume is safe and doesn’t pose a tripping or falling hazard. Choose flame-resistant fabrics and comfortable shoes to prevent injuries. Practice Run: Take a practice run with your child before Halloween night to familiarize them with the route, streetlights, and safe street crossings. Set a curfew for their return. Communication: Both you and your child should have a way to communicate. Consider giving them a cell phone or a smartwatch, but remind them to be mindful of their surroundings and not get too distracted by technology. Safety in Numbers: Encourage your child to go trick-or-treating with a group of friends or siblings, as being in a group can enhance safety. Knowing the Area: Make sure your child knows the area and the neighborhood. Teach them to only visit houses with their outside lights on and to never enter anyone’s home, yard, or car. Developmental Age: Consider your child’s developmental age, not just their chronological age. Some children may know the area but might not be developmentally mature enough to make decisions in challenging situations. Safety Concepts: Discuss basic personal safety concepts with your child, such as how to deal with “tricky people” and when to call for help. Have a code word or emoji they can use to signal if they need assistance. Ultimately, the decision should be based on your child’s individual readiness and your comfort level as a parent. You can also take gradual steps to increase their independence, such as allowing them to visit houses while you remain on the sidewalk or only letting them trick-or-treat on one side of the street until they are more comfortable. Safety is paramount, so ensure that your child is well-prepared and understands the rules and expectations before going out on Halloween night.
Navigating Pet Etiquette with Finesse
Interacting with other people’s pets requires etiquette and consideration to maintain a positive experience and avoid rudeness. Always seek permission from the pet owner before touching their animal, as it’s a matter of common courtesy and safety. Not all pets are friendly, and even small dogs can potentially nip or bite. Additionally, never assume it’s acceptable to feed someone else’s pet without consulting the owner, as it may disrupt their training or cause dietary issues. Avoid making negative comments about someone’s pet or their choices as a pet owner, and refrain from giving unsolicited advice about a pet’s behavior or medical condition. Always supervise your children when they interact with someone else’s pet and teach them to ask for permission and be gentle to avoid causing harm. Never give medication, supplements, or any substances to someone else’s pet without the owner’s prior approval, as it can have adverse effects. Respect the boundaries of other pet owners by not forcing your own pet onto theirs. Maintain a safe distance between pets when walking them and seek permission from the other owner before introducing your pet. Never assume how someone else’s pet will react; be mindful of their body language and let the pet initiate contact. Avoid asking about the cost of the pet, as it’s a personal matter similar to inquiring about someone’s financial details. When visiting a home with a pet, do not request the host to create their animal unless there are valid medical concerns or allergies. Respect the pet’s personal space to prevent stress or aggression. Always avoid behaviors that could physically harm the pet, such as smoking near birds or lifting dogs improperly. When taking photos or videos of someone else’s pet, ask for permission first. Lastly, never pet or play with a service dog unless specifically invited, as these animals are working and any distraction could endanger the person they are assisting.
