Why Am I Still Looking for Success?
Have you ever reflected on your life and surprised yourself with what you discovered? Beyond the traditional years of schooling, I dedicated an additional ten years to college and specialized training. Thousands of dollars were spent, countless hours of study, and an immense amount of energy went into fulfilling my internship and externship requirements. Life didn’t pause while I pursued my education, nor did it slow down when I became a mother. It certainly didn’t wait when I fell ill and had to focus on recovery. I was riding the wave of my own life—a journey uniquely mine, one that no one else could truly experience the way I did. Yet, despite overcoming countless challenges and navigating life’s ups and downs, I still find myself being my own harshest critic, constantly demanding more. But why? What is wrong with this picture? I am still chasing the success I once envisioned in my youth. However, as I approach my 60s, I realize that the meaning of success has begun to evolve. I recall my elders advising me to enjoy life and to understand that goals are not just destinations but part of the journey itself. At the time, I nodded politely, but did I truly listen? Only now, with a shorter road ahead than behind me, do I fully grasp their wisdom. Looking back, my journey has been long. There were moments when I had the opportunity to change paths, yet I stayed the course. I took a leap of faith once, and it turned out to be the right one for me. I did my best with the knowledge and awareness I had at the time. Instead of dwelling on what could have or should have been, I choose to see every step as a valuable lesson. The Universe Has a Plan If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that the Universe never acts without purpose. It works alongside you, like a loyal friend, nudging you out of your comfort zone when necessary and presenting new lessons when the time is right. It doesn’t place blame but rather encourages self-reflection. If you miss a lesson, it will return in another form, gently reminding you that there is still a chapter left unread. The moment you trust this process, you will experience unwavering support unlike anything else. The Universe provides in alignment with your thoughts. You don’t even need to voice your desires—it responds to your energy. Life becomes so effortless that doubt fades, replaced by a deep sense of knowing. Redefining Success: A Simple Exercise The next time you find yourself questioning success, try this: Ask yourself: What does success mean to me? (Let your mind give you a quick, instinctive answer.) Ask again: What does success mean to me? (Strip away external influences—no one’s opinion matters but your own.) Ask one more time: What does success mean to ME? (Dig deeper. How does this definition make you feel? Will achieving it brings genuine happiness?) Sit with your final answer. Even if it’s not what your ego expected, give yourself the space to be honest and courageous in facing it. Take time to reflect. Journal your thoughts. Go for a walk. Allow your inner wisdom to surface without judgment. Then, return to your life’s drawing board and align your path with that raw, honest answer—free from fear or societal expectations. Your opinion of your success is the only one that truly matters. If you chase goals based on others’ expectations, you may find yourself alone in disappointment. But if you choose a path that honors your needs and truth, you will experience a blissful solitude—one filled with self-fulfillment. A Realization in Action A dear client of mine recently faced a crossroads in her career. After two decades of dedication to her job, she was finally considered for a prestigious position—one that required extensive travel and demanding hours. She was thrilled to be among the top candidates and eagerly attended her first major meeting far from home. However, as these meetings became more frequent, she began to feel the toll on her body and mind. In the end, the company selected another candidate, leaving her deeply disappointed. As we talked, I guided her through the same exercise above. Each time she answered, her response evolved. By the third question, she had an epiphany—she wasn’t truly passionate about the position. Deep down, she already knew she was talented and successful. She had been chasing external validation rather than inner fulfillment. A smile spread across her face as she realized she didn’t need that title to prove her worth. The Truth Within If we ask ourselves these three questions before every major decision, we might uncover truths buried deep within us. This practice offers a powerful way to connect with the most authentic version of ourselves. So, the next time you find yourself searching for success, pause. Listen. Define success on your own terms. Namaste, Shab
Understanding the Process and Benefits of Radiation Therapy
Last week, we discussed the importance of building trust with your radiation therapist and how it creates a supportive foundation for your treatment journey. Equally important is understanding the educational role your therapist plays in helping you navigate the complexities of radiation therapy. This week, we’ll explore how your radiation therapist ensures you’re well-informed about the process, empowering you to take an active role in your care. Demystifying the Radiation Therapy Process Radiation therapy is a highly specialized form of treatment, and it’s natural to feel uncertain about what it involves. Your radiation therapist is there to guide you through each step, ensuring that you have a clear understanding of the procedure. From the initial simulation session, where the treatment area is mapped out, to the precise delivery of radiation, your therapist will explain what’s happening and why it’s necessary. For example, your therapist might discuss how advanced imaging technologies are used to pinpoint the exact location of cancer cells, minimizing exposure to surrounding healthy tissue. They’ll also explain the role of immobilization devices, such as molds or masks, which help you maintain the same position during each session for optimal accuracy. This transparent communication helps build trust and makes the treatment process less intimidating. By knowing what to expect, you can approach each session with greater confidence and ease. Understanding the Benefits of Radiation Therapy Radiation therapy is a powerful tool in the fight against cancer. Your radiation therapist will help you understand how it works to target and destroy cancer cells. Unlike chemotherapy, which affects the entire body, radiation therapy focuses on a specific area, delivering high doses of radiation to shrink tumors or eliminate cancerous cells. Your therapist will also explain how radiation therapy fits into your overall treatment plan. For many breast cancer patients, radiation is used after surgery to reduce the risk of recurrence by targeting any remaining cancer cells in the breast, chest wall, or nearby lymph nodes. It may also be combined with chemotherapy or hormonal therapy to improve outcomes. Hearing these benefits directly from your therapist can ease concerns and reinforce the importance of completing your prescribed treatment plan. It’s a reminder that every session is a step toward recovery. Preparing for and Managing Side Effects Another key aspect of your radiation therapist’s role is educating you on what to expect during and after treatment. They’ll discuss common side effects, such as fatigue, skin irritation, or changes in breast texture, and guide how to manage them. For example, they might suggest specific skincare routines to minimize irritation or recommend strategies for conserving energy during treatment. Your therapist will also inform you about potential long-term effects, so you’re aware of what to monitor in the future. They’ll advise you on when to reach out to your medical team if you notice any unusual symptoms, ensuring that any complications are addressed promptly. Empowering You Through Knowledge By equipping you with information, your radiation therapist empowers you to take an active role in your treatment. This knowledge not only reduces fear but also fosters a sense of partnership between you and your care team. Understanding the “why” behind each step helps you feel more in control of your journey, making the experience more manageable. Your therapist will encourage you to ask questions and share concerns throughout the process. Whether you’re curious about how the equipment works or worried about potential side effects, they’re there to provide answers and reassurance. This open dialogue creates a collaborative atmosphere, where your voice is valued as part of your care team. Looking Ahead As we continue to explore the multifaceted role of your radiation therapist, next week we’ll focus on the emotional support they provide. Beyond their technical expertise, radiation therapists are compassionate listeners who can help you navigate the emotional challenges of treatment. Their presence and empathy are invaluable, ensuring you feel supported every step of the way.
Can Learning “YES AND” Help with Saying “No”?
The Answer is YES! Learning how to say “No” requires self-awareness and confidence. These are emotional intelligence competencies that help us to set limits, compromise, delegate tasks, and at times, say “No”. They are super important for healthcare professionals as well as patients and families to have to ensure the safest, most compassionate, and patient-centered care. Surprisingly, a “YES AND” mindset adapted from the world of applied improvisation, theatre education, and medical improv can be used to develop and practice such competencies. Consider two conversations: Person 1: There is a cow in my kitchen. Person 2: Yes, there is a cow in your kitchen. Or Person 1: There is a cow in my kitchen. Person 2: Yes, and that cow is speaking French. In the first conversation, Person 2 is validating Person 1 and following a say ‘YES’ philosophy. Such listening is one-way Medical Improv can help healthcare professionals, leaders, and teams. The second conversation reveals how valuable the learning potential of the ‘AND’ is. To appreciate this, ask yourself what you might say using “YES AND”. Also, consider how you might feel to add to this or some other unexpected statement on the spot! Image by Leopictures from Pixabay The “AND” of “YES AND” Truthfully, I can feel a little anxious when called upon to add something to an improv story. A little bit of a fight, flight, or freeze response is going on. Yet, practicing improv has helped me to trust my ability to move through the stress response, access creativity, and share an idea. YES, AND that cow is making pancakes! YES, AND this is a great way to make sure we have fresh milk! YES, AND there is an old farmer looking at it through your window! In an improv scene, this is much more interesting and fun to watch than me saying, “I don’t see any cow.” More importantly from a learning process, when I add an idea, I’m developing and practicing essential expressive skills and competencies like self-awareness, confidence, and speaking up. What might you say as Person 2 in the second conversation? “YES AND” & “NO”! One of the biggest myths Medical Improv, is that we are teaching people to agree on everything. It certainly can look that way when we are accepting ideas that aren’t true. However, adding to stories (the AND) nudges us to develop self-awareness, confidence, and assertiveness. It is in this space where we grow the skills and competencies necessary for developing healthy boundaries, setting limits, delegating tasks, and when necessary, saying “No”!
What Type of Meditation is Best for You?
As you may know, there are various types of meditation to choose from. Among them, guided meditation is one of the most popular and widely practiced techniques. In guided meditation, someone reads a script for you to imagine and follow, helping you create a vivid mental picture. Mindfulness meditation, on the other hand, involves paying attention to your thoughts, and feelings, or simply observing objects around you without judgment. Spiritual meditation varies depending on your spiritual traditions and may include practices like prayers, whirling (as in Sufi traditions), or seeking a deeper connection to a higher power. These are just a few examples of the many meditation techniques available. If you are new to meditation or simply want to quiet your mind, you may wonder: How do I know which type of meditation is best for me? Guided Meditation: A Beginner-Friendly Option Guided meditation is often the easiest technique for beginners. It engages your imagination to calm your body and mind. Although it’s simple to follow, guided meditation is a powerful tool for developing focus. As you visualize scenarios or images, you engage your senses and influence your body’s physical functions. For instance, guided meditation can lower your heart rate, decrease blood pressure, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system—the body’s natural resting and healing state. Exploring the Layers of Your Being It’s important to recognize that you are more than just your physical body. Around your physical body are layers of subtle energy fields, including the Breath body, Emotional body, Intellectual body, and Bliss body. When you meditate, these layers connect, creating a holistic experience. The Breath body, responsible for vital energy and moving energy throughout your system, plays a key role in this connection. Through guided meditation, you may revisit a specific place or moment in your life, transforming negative emotions into positive ones. This shift brings peace and vitality to your entire being. Healing occurs when you release the need to control and allow yourself to open up to new imagery, find solutions, or gain clarity about challenges you face. A Case Study: Meditation as a Healing Tool Guided meditation can extend beyond simple visualization. It can help you process and transform deep-seated emotions tied to past events. Let me share a powerful example: In 2018, I worked with a young client diagnosed with cancer. Her tumor was large and understandably caused significant fear. We began by teaching her how to use her breath to calm her mind and thoughts. Once she was comfortable with this practice, we progressed to visualizing the tumor in her body. Rather than fearing the tumor, she learned to connect with it. Through meditation, she stopped seeing the tumor as an enemy and instead embraced it as part of her body. The meditation sessions focused on calm breathing, communicating with the tumor, and visualizing it shrinking bit by bit. She practiced this daily, both with me and on her own. Over time, her fear of the tumor and of dying diminished significantly. She reclaimed her power, leaving the tumor energetically powerless. While she continued with her conventional treatments, including chemotherapy, she also maintained her meditation practice. After six months, her PET scan revealed that the tumor had shrunk so much it was no longer detectable. Today, she is cancer-free and thriving as an artist in Northern California. She continues to practice meditation and embraces holistic approaches to support her well-being. The Power of Your Mind This story illustrates the immense power of the mind. When you decide to harness this power for your benefit, you unlock your potential and discover just how capable you truly are. Namaste, Shab
Healthcare Interactions Impact Patient Safety
I’ve been researching, teaching, and writing about the importance of communication skills and emotional intelligence for over 20 years. This is roughly the same amount of time that The Joint Commission has been tracking catastrophic mistakes we make which are known as Sentinel Events. They track and publish a detailed report on the types and causes of these tragic events including the most recent 2023 Annual Report. What is most striking is how communication is and has been one of if not the leading root cause year after year! And root causes of Sentinel Events that show up consistently in the data include teamwork, leadership, and human factors. We can appreciate how the quality of interactions influences our ability to provide safe care by examining two examples. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay A nurse overhears a colleague gossiping about her and interrupts: “I’d appreciate it if you have concerns about my work that you discuss them with me directly and professionally.” The gossiping nurse apologizes and later offers to help the nurse. The help enabled the nurse to get pain medication to her post-op patient quickly and the patient felt cared for. Patient experience scores increase. A doctor yells at a nurse on Tuesday. Saturday night the nurse hesitates to call her about a subtle change in a patient’s condition. Since it’s close to the end of the shift, she tells the oncoming nurse. This nurse makes it a priority to check the patient, but the telemetry alarm beats him to it. The patient does not survive. These examples show how the quality of simple interactions influences critical outcomes like patient safety and patient experience. Like the ‘Butterfly Effect, in both these situations, the outcomes are obvious, yet the roots involving the quality of interactions are elusive. Combining this train of thought with the data suggests that our solutions to date are not getting at the underlying issues aimed to improve these root causes. Reducing the incidence of sentinel events will require us to dive deeper into the social and emotional learning that influences individual, team, and organizational behavior. This includes understanding the need for professionals to develop skills and competencies that influence the quality of our interactions. These include; self-awareness, confidence, adaptability, flexibility, perspective-taking, and the ability to give and receive constructive feedback, set limits, respect others’ limits, ask for help, and delegate tasks. Developing these skills is no small task as people have different levels of growing edges, resources such as time and money are limited, experiential learning opportunities are essential, and effective teaching methods are limited. The good news is that Medical Improv can be used to teach all of these skills and competencies while reducing stress and promoting positive relationships and cultures. More about that in future posts. For now, the important take-home is that the quality of healthcare interactions matters!
