Navigating PTSD After Cancer Treatment
Receiving a cancer diagnosis is an earth-shattering experience on its own. Add to that the constant poking of needles, patiently holding still for scans, and waiting for test results, and it’s easy to see how these experiences can take a toll on your emotional and psychological well-being. While the illness manifests on a physical level, the true battle is much deeper. It’s not just the body that’s impacted; your whole being walks this path. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a very real side effect of cancer treatment I vividly remember my reaction to a simple word my yoga teacher used during meditation, a word that triggered old fears and physical sensations. She said: “Scan your entire body!” Even years after my diagnosis and treatments, certain words, images, and even smells take me back to that hospital environment— a time in my life when everything felt out of control like my world was spinning and I had nothing to hold onto. While medical staff tried to be compassionate and supportive, they were not walking this journey with me—I was. The term PTSD is often associated with military soldiers returning from combat, having experienced violence. But facing a life-threatening diagnosis is, in many ways, the beginning of a different kind of battle. The violence comes in a different form, through invasive and aggressive treatments like chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery. Surgery, in particular, disrupts the body’s internal energy. Our bodies were not meant to be opened or poked—if they were, we would have been made with doors and windows like a house. A body needs harmony and peace to function in a healthy way. When I reacted to my yoga teacher that day, I realized that my scars—both physical and emotional—had not fully healed. I needed to give myself more time and care to find peace within my body. I began paying closer attention to my daily thoughts: What thoughts had become a permanent part of me? Were they fearful, filled with worries about my body? Did I fear losing my loved ones to disease or tragedy? How could I quiet these thoughts and reach a more peaceful mind? Having a regular meditation practice and calming my mind through breathwork helped to some extent, but I realized that these thoughts had taken root over time, and I needed to dig deeper. I began reframing my visits to the doctor and follow-up tests. Instead of recalling past fears, I started reminding myself that I was in control of this journey. I now approach every appointment as a step toward healing. If I stay home and avoid appointments, I risk the possibility of the disease returning. But by showing up, I am choosing to take charge and do what I can to help my body. I also allowed myself to talk openly about my journey in safe spaces, with friends and support groups who were ready to listen. Every time I shared my story, I felt I healed a little more. I stopped hiding my fears—about the future and even the present. I let go of the guilt I felt for surviving when some of my friends had not. I accepted that this journey is uniquely mine. While the medical staff focused on the physical aspects of my recovery, I knew it was crucial to address my emotional and psychological well-being as well. Returning to my regular routine wasn’t easy. I felt lost. I had been away on a long, transformative journey, and now everything felt different. How could I return to the life I had known? The word “normal” didn’t quite fit anymore. I had to create a “new normal” for myself, carrying this new set of experiences into this next phase of life. I knew time would allow me to gradually figure out the steps to recovery. I also realized I had to be more flexible than ever before to deal with my new mental state. My mind, which needed more attention and care than before, had to be treated gently. I needed to be kind to myself as I helped my mind heal. Consistency and discipline became important as I worked to establish a new routine. I realized that my body was no longer the same as it was before cancer treatment. What I had once been able to do, physically, was no longer possible. Shorter exercise routines, fewer social gatherings, and carving out solitude for self-care became my new normal. I stayed in touch with fellow cancer patients who were going through similar treatments. I didn’t want to mask the reality of my experience but wanted to face it in a healthier way, with a fresh perspective. I no longer wanted to feel anxious every time the phone rang from my doctor’s office or when I approached a hospital building. Meeting with some of my cancer recovery friends once a month reminded me that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts or feelings. I just had to be more mindful and not feed into the negative narratives my mind wanted to create. I know that healing takes time, and the journey is a roller coaster of emotions. PTSD symptoms may stay with me for the rest of my life, but how I react to them is what matters most. I accept them with love but refuse to give them the power to control me. My PTSD is a real struggle, but healing is possible, and I will not give up on my mind. Nameste, Shab
Energy healing and its power
As a former radiation therapist, while working with patients, my intuition often nudged me toward a fact that was rarely discussed. My gut feeling told me that we are not just this physical body, but there are other ways to heal the body. We not only have the physical body that we can see and touch, but also another body—our energy body—within our physical body. The only difference is that the physical body has blood and other bodily fluids flowing through its channels, while the energy body has a flow of energy. We are surrounded by and connected to an energetic system that flows through us, and this energy plays a significant role in our overall well-being. While working in hospitals, I often felt something was missing in completing the patient’s care—energy healing. It could complement modern medicine and offer a more holistic approach to healing. Understanding how energy healing works on the subtle body and its channels can give us insight into how this type of healing can prevent illnesses and diseases from arising. Why not address the physical body and, at the same time, heal the energies responsible for maintaining harmony throughout the whole system? Just as we have veins and arteries, we also have channels that are not visible to the medical team because they are considered non-physical. These channels make up the subtle body, which holds our emotions, mental state, and spiritual states. The subtle body operates on a deeper, more energetic level. It contains multiple layers that hold these emotional, mental, and spiritual states and is responsible for processing the energies that influence our well-being. At first, I didn’t understand how the subtle body worked or how important it would be in my healing practice. We have over 72,000 channels called Nadis. The Prana or Qi flows through these pathways, maintaining the balance necessary to stay healthy physically and emotionally. When these pathways become blocked by emotions or illness, the result is often a physical manifestation of disease. Most imbalances in these channels don’t happen overnight. Emotions have a way of getting stored in these channels, and if healing doesn’t occur, these imbalances eventually show up as physical symptoms. Over the course of my 25 years of working with patients, I heard similar stories of emotional turmoil and unresolved life challenges that had put significant stress on their bodies. A life without its ups and downs would seem like a life never truly lived. We all go through challenging experiences—situations that are difficult to digest or impossible to accept. Ultimately, we have no choice but to face them. Our bodies carry the toll of our emotions, and we, as humans, operate from our emotional state. This raised a question in my mind: What can we do to prevent illness? Is there a way to stay truly healthy, avoiding disease altogether? The first time I received energy healing from a friend; I felt an immense sense of physical relaxation. Over time, I realized the profound benefits of this type of healing. My mind became calmer, and I felt more at peace. Little did I know, this energy healing—whether my friend was touching specific points on my body or simply hovering her hands over them—was balancing my Prana or Qi. She was the conduit for transferring the necessary healing energy into my subtle body, unblocking and restoring the essential pathways. As a result of her ability and my body being ready to receive, my physical and emotional body (subtle body) began to show signs of strength and improvement. Emotionally, I became more resilient and gained clarity about what I wanted from life. I was able to set goals and achieve them, which boosted my confidence. The depth of this therapy reached deep into my cells, promoting healthy cell regeneration. I began experiencing what my intuition had hinted at months earlier. I was able to keep illness at bay, boost my immune system, reduce stress, and manage my anxiety. I was finally seeing the root causes of my disease in my habits and behaviors. I began feeling happier, more hopeful, and no longer burdened by the sense of being stuck. My negative thought patterns started to fade away. Energy healing changed my life. To the present time, I have been illness-free for over twenty years! I became more mindful of my body, mind, and breath. This new awareness of my energy system has made me more attuned to my health. As soon as something feels off, I notice it right away and can address it through breathwork, yoga, or regular energy healing sessions. Energy healing is a powerful tool available to us today. Why not use it to restore balance to our energy as soon as possible, allowing us to live in a healthier body? By investing in yourself, you are not only reducing the stress in your system but also nurturing the deeper layers of your being. Nameste, Shab
Clouds of Doubt
The day I heard the words ‘poor prognosis,’ my world crumbled. A dark cloud started following me everywhere. I felt alone in the entire world with this cloud over my head. No one else could see it, but I could. How is it possible? I see this thick cloud with no light in it, and life is going on like nothing has happened! It felt heavy, and I could not breathe. There was no oxygen, or at least not where I was standing. Every thought and every breath felt heavy, and hope seemed so far out of reach. Before I knew it, I was walking under this cloud, and my journey of treatments and endless doctor appointments had begun. I realized this storm would not pass quickly. There were days when I felt like staying in bed under the covers until it was all over, but the voice inside me kept nagging me to get up and face the impossible. It kept showing me that this journey was worth fighting for and that I should not give up. Nothing was clear in my mind; chemo drugs didn’t help either, creating their own cloud in my head. Not only did I have the thick overhead cloud, but I also had a smaller one in my head that made my vision hazy just enough to navigate through the fog of the day. I kept up with my prayers to keep me grounded and closer to my spiritual roots. The days when I was floating, trusting that this, too, shall pass, became my mantra. The solitude was loud, and no matter how many people visited or called to hear my voice on the phone, I couldn’t feel the connection. After all, they weren’t under my cloud. They were living their lives, and they didn’t know what I was going through. Yes, I felt sad and sorry for myself. Despite all the inner nagging and negative thoughts, my feet drove me to all my treatments. Upset at being in the clinic for hours and not enjoying my movies, I showed up for each one of them. Accompanied by a close friend, she worked while I lay there in my chemo chair, hoping that one day, all this experience would become as blurry as my current vision. Don’t get me wrong; the thought of not existing came to me daily. All the what-ifs had their answers, more or less. Anxiety had become part of the cloud. When it showed up, anxiety was written all over it. Negative thoughts and made-up scenarios were written like a professional screenplay. I was so good at it that I thought I must have missed my calling. I could have written so many fantastic films. Maybe I could have gone to the South of France and participated in the Festival of Cannes! I had the experience of anticipating different events in my life, but nothing came close to the waiting game for a phone call from the doctor. Not only did I have to subject myself to hours of scanning by giant machines and injections, but I also had to wait to hear the results. It didn’t matter how hard I worked to write my new screenplays while waiting; my mind wanted to hear from my doctor. The one phone call that might determine the rest of my journey. “Should I stay or should I go now?” The song kept repeating in my head. I finally dozed off to a sweet dream. Here I am, six months later. The air feels a little lighter. I can breathe better. I looked up, and the thick cloud started to break. The scan showed progress—hope. I was overwhelmed. I realized the light of hope had always been there, quietly waiting, but I couldn’t see it with my blurry vision. The uncertainty had created the darkness of my cloud; the light was always above it, but not visible. Since it seemed that I would stay, I asked myself, “What should I do with the remainder of my cloud?” “Should I focus on the light that’s coming through?” I have the power to see a more powerful light and let go of the cloud for good. The scan had given me the chance to strike again. My body is saying, “I am taking a break. Enjoy it.” We all face storms from time to time. They vary in strength and speed. We all have those moments when we can’t breathe properly. But we can’t forget that hope is always there. We might not see it clearly, but it doesn’t move, despite our foggy minds. Even when we choose not to see it, it is shining on us from afar. After all, the sun isn’t close by, but it still keeps us warm and brightens our day. Nameste, Shab.
Balancing the Air Element (Vata) in Ayurveda: A Path to Calm and Clarity
Do you ever find yourself unable to focus on one task, jumping from one project to another? What happens when the mind tries to do too much at once? This isn’t something new for anyone. We’ve all experienced it. It’s frustrating when we start a project, only to move on to another before finishing the first one, leaving us with multiple unfinished tasks and nothing fully completed. In Ayurveda, an ancient Indian science, this type of behavior is considered a sign of an imbalance in the Air and Ether elements within the mind. But what does that mean? The Air element in Ayurveda has dry, light, clear, and mobile qualities. Like the wind in the sky, it moves within the Space (Ether) of our body and mind. The Air element is formless, but it can be felt when we breathe, as our lungs expand and contract, or when our muscles move and our hearts palpitate. This same flow occurs in our intestines, where food is digested and eliminated. Similarly, the mind experiences a flow of thoughts and desires that are governed by the Air element. When the Air element is out of balance, we might experience rapid thoughts, jumping from one idea to the next. But when it is in harmony, we experience peacefulness and clarity. Imbalance can bring fear, anxiety, and insecurity, creating a sense of unease. Ayurveda teaches us to understand the nature of our mind, to comprehend why we think and act as we do, and to show compassion toward ourselves. With this knowledge, we can apply holistic practices tailored to restore balance, helping us become more productive in our lives. A balanced mind leads to a more organized approach to work, smoother management of personal life, less stress over finances, and healthier relationships with ourselves and others. The Air element (Vata) in our internal world can be like the wind causing fire or environmental disturbances in nature. The difference is that our internal world is governed by a subtle energy called biological movement. The breath (prana), our life force, is deeply connected to the Air element. Our cells communicate through this flow of energy, and Vata governs both our physiological and emotional functions. When we are upset or anxious, we breathe faster, signaling that the Air element is responding to our emotional state. On the other hand, when we are calm and happy, our breath is slower, indicating that Vata is balanced. So, how can we use this knowledge to maintain a balanced state of mind? The truth is, there’s no such thing as a permanent state of happiness and calm. As humans, we are emotional beings, and we react to our environment and experiences. It’s impossible to be in the same mental state every hour of the day or night. However, the good news is that we have control over how we manage this state. In typical situations, when we receive bad news, our initial reaction is often emotional. Over time and with practice, we can learn to return to a balanced state of mind. There are several simple holistic practices you can use in your daily routine to make this transition smoother: Use your breath: Start by taking three mindful (being focused) breaths and slow breaths to calm yourself down. Practice silence: Spend 10–15 minutes daily in silence, allowing your mind to settle. Avoid distractions like music, TV, or talking to others during this time. Take walks in nature: If possible, take off your shoes and walk barefoot on the grass. This will ground you energetically and calm your mind. Sit by water: If you’re near a body of water, sit quietly and observe the natural movements on the surface. The peacefulness of water can help still the mind. Drink herbal tea: Enjoy a warm cup of herbal tea, which can soothe and calm your thoughts without overstimulating your mind. The air element calms down with heat. Rest your mind: If you feel mentally fatigued, take a short nap. Cat naps are particularly effective for both the mind and body. By doing these practices, you’ll find that your projects get completed without the usual frustration. You’ll experience a sense of calmness and balance that may have previously seemed impossible. Balancing your Air element is an act of self-love and self-care in Ayurveda, bringing harmony to both your mind and body. Namaste, Shab.
Fun Improv Activities Awakens Deep Listening Skills
Simple and Profound “That’s the first time I ever felt heard”, a nurse shared during a communication workshop! My jaw dropped. I wondered how she could possibly be a good listener if she didn’t know what it was like to feel heard. It was a powerful teaching moment for me in terms of integrating improv activities into communication workshops. Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay The nurse had just participated in an experiential activity I adapted from improv to teach communication and related skills. A a teacher, the nurse’s feedback was compelling. I could see how it would help her appreciate the value of truly being heard. From here, she could internalize the experience and develop awareness about listening with respect to being connected, understood, valued This skill development is much deeper than simply hearing what someone says and checking off a box. It is a door to becoming more sensitive to how and when this kind of focused listening could be helpful. Such as a patient who is nervous about a procedure, a family member becoming angry about a treatment issue, or a colleague showing signs of burnout. What’s more, her future life experiences, feedback, and leadership guidance could all be grounded back to this simple, profound experience. This contributes to a ripple effect of more awareness and skill development for the nurse and modeling for all in her circles. What is this activity? Same-Time-Story, also known as Story Mirror, involves one person telling a story while her partner tries to tell it simultaneously. Something you can only do by focusing on what your partner is saying and if s/he goes at a pace conducive to your success. You can see it here in this two-minute video from a workshop several years ago. Notice how in the middle I tap one of the participants on the shoulder, signaling the switch of leadership roles! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yj7r_C36k Other valuable feedback When facilitated properly, Medical Improv experiences like this are engaging and safe for social and emotional development. The learning is internalized as staff practice, reflect on and discuss the skills, and their application to professional communication and organizational goals. In this particular activity, participants have shared things like: “I had to focus on her and stop thinking.’ ‘Her facial expressions helped.’ ‘I realized I was speaking too fast.’ ‘You never know what is going on in someone’s head.’ ‘It was fun!” Imagine how the learning content can be framed around vital skills such as expression of nonverbal language, identifying social cues, developing awareness of speaking too fast for someone to understand and what that might feel like, and/or realizing we don’t know what others are thinking even if we think we do! When facilitated properly, Medical Improv experiences are engaging and safe for social and emotional development. The learning is internalized as staff practice, reflect on and discuss the skills, and their application to professional communication and organizational goals. With this activity, nurses, doctors, and other healthcare professionals become better prepared to listen attentively to an anxious patient, a colleague in trouble, constructive feedback from a manager, or a family member with signs of escalating anger.
Looking for signs of humanity? Try this!
What are humans capable of? Take a minute and watch this powerful video. See what it brings up for you in terms of human nature and what’s possible. Even in today’s chaotic world and often amidst emotionally challenging interactions. https://youtu.be/7qzMfgtf_GI?si=KTk8rVYqPDnTwMtK What are humans capable of? Sometimes, glimpses into human behavior offer surprises. What did you observe in this little video? I found it compelling because it shows us: What can happen in a pause? How kindness is contagious. How technology does not have to drive our behavior. How moving gratitude and compassion are So much about My Work Product is based on helping each other. That’s why, when I saw it, I couldn’t resist sharing it here!
6 Communication, culture, and leadership issues that ensure qualified staff
Having unqualified people in jobs they should not be in is not an issue about diversity, but rather one of communication, culture, and leadership. Here are six related issues that influence the likelihood that qualified staff are in positions that require high reliability: 1. Leaders and staff are skilled at giving and receiving constructive feedback so that teaching and learning are going on all the time. 2. All levels of staff are willing and able to ask for help, set limits, delegate tasks or say “No” when they need to. 3. All levels of staff are respectful of others’ limits, and leaders respectfully address patterns of excessive need for help, time management, and training needs on an individual by individual. Image by Ahmad Ardity from Pixabay 4. Expectations for performance are clear and consistent. 5. Leaders advocate for and ensure the resources necessary to follow protocols, procedures, and policies are available (incl: staff, time, money, training, and equipment). 6. Evaluations of performance are objective, fair, respectful, and intended to ensure high reliability. Identifying underperforming or unqualified people need not be a personal affront and can include support in finding an appropriate job match. Can you think of any other issues as viewed from this lens?
A House Full of Open Windows
Have you ever had days when you couldn’t get out of bed or do anything productive? Doesn’t it feel like they last forever? No matter how positively you think or speak to yourself, those days linger, refusing to pass. Six months ago, after a setback in my health, I felt discouraged and unmotivated to pursue anything new. My body was fatigued and defeated. I tried every tool I had learned over the years—techniques that usually lifted my spirits—but nothing seemed to work. The simple truth? I didn’t feel well, period! You see, I am what some would call a “professional student.” Even now, in my sixties, I love learning new skills, reading the latest self-discovery books, and continuously improving myself. I make it a priority to move my body daily, doing my best to keep it healthy. But when my body doesn’t cooperate, I have no choice but to manage my symptoms and wait for time to heal them. Honestly, out of thirty days in a month, I’m lucky if I get one good week. I have learned to call those good days my open windows—windows of opportunity to engage in positive and normal activities for my body and mind. On my not-so-good days, I do my best to count my blessings, using them as a distraction from the negativity that illness can bring. I remind myself how wonderful it is that I can still breathe on my own, walk without assistance, and eat independently. I stay close to my spiritual practices, which keep me grounded. My mantra music (Kirtan) is another way I cleanse my mind of negative thoughts that tend to appear when I’m down. It’s easy to spiral into darkness when pain and fatigue take over—a deep well where no one can see you, not even those closest to you. It feels as though you are underground, unheard, and alone until your body begins to recover, even if just temporarily. Yes, I call them not-so-good days because, in reality, bad days don’t exist. It is only by comparison that we categorize them. I choose to see those days as windows closing. When they shut, I no longer experienced the normalcy of my life. But that doesn’t mean they’re closed forever. They will open again, allowing me to see the light—I just have to be patient with my body. Have you ever looked at a house and wondered why it has so many windows? Even a house needs open windows to let in fresh air and release what no longer serves it. These windows allow light to shine in, bringing hope and renewal. They offer a clear view—perspectives that the house needs to understand its surroundings. One window might open to the main road, where the hustle and bustle of the neighborhood create a lively picture. The back windows may reveal a serene backyard, where calmness resides. Each side window presents a different perspective on life’s unfolding story. Together, all windows are necessary, creating a panoramic view of existence. I am that house—filled with memories, lessons, and wisdom gathered over the years. When I was younger, I had a fresh paint and a stronger foundation. Now, with time, signs of aging have appeared—cracks, rust, and wear. Yet within my walls, I remain resilient, standing tall despite the passage of time, eager to see the world through all my windows. Today, the sun is shining, and my windows are wide open! No aches, no pain. I remind myself that I still have time to learn, to grow, and to welcome new experiences. Good days and not-so-good days will come and go. Windows will open and close according to the laws of the Universe and the path I have chosen. I trust that I will continue managing my symptoms with kindness and patience. After all, this is my only house—with so many windows open to me. I feel blessed to have them: to spend time with my granddaughter, to walk by the ocean and witness life’s marvels, and to share moments with family and friends who mean the world to me. My house and its windows are here to stay, and I plan to open them—one by one—to live a full and meaningful life. Nameste Shab
Why Am I Still Looking for Success?
Have you ever reflected on your life and surprised yourself with what you discovered? Beyond the traditional years of schooling, I dedicated an additional ten years to college and specialized training. Thousands of dollars were spent, countless hours of study, and an immense amount of energy went into fulfilling my internship and externship requirements. Life didn’t pause while I pursued my education, nor did it slow down when I became a mother. It certainly didn’t wait when I fell ill and had to focus on recovery. I was riding the wave of my own life—a journey uniquely mine, one that no one else could truly experience the way I did. Yet, despite overcoming countless challenges and navigating life’s ups and downs, I still find myself being my own harshest critic, constantly demanding more. But why? What is wrong with this picture? I am still chasing the success I once envisioned in my youth. However, as I approach my 60s, I realize that the meaning of success has begun to evolve. I recall my elders advising me to enjoy life and to understand that goals are not just destinations but part of the journey itself. At the time, I nodded politely, but did I truly listen? Only now, with a shorter road ahead than behind me, do I fully grasp their wisdom. Looking back, my journey has been long. There were moments when I had the opportunity to change paths, yet I stayed the course. I took a leap of faith once, and it turned out to be the right one for me. I did my best with the knowledge and awareness I had at the time. Instead of dwelling on what could have or should have been, I choose to see every step as a valuable lesson. The Universe Has a Plan If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that the Universe never acts without purpose. It works alongside you, like a loyal friend, nudging you out of your comfort zone when necessary and presenting new lessons when the time is right. It doesn’t place blame but rather encourages self-reflection. If you miss a lesson, it will return in another form, gently reminding you that there is still a chapter left unread. The moment you trust this process, you will experience unwavering support unlike anything else. The Universe provides in alignment with your thoughts. You don’t even need to voice your desires—it responds to your energy. Life becomes so effortless that doubt fades, replaced by a deep sense of knowing. Redefining Success: A Simple Exercise The next time you find yourself questioning success, try this: Ask yourself: What does success mean to me? (Let your mind give you a quick, instinctive answer.) Ask again: What does success mean to me? (Strip away external influences—no one’s opinion matters but your own.) Ask one more time: What does success mean to ME? (Dig deeper. How does this definition make you feel? Will achieving it brings genuine happiness?) Sit with your final answer. Even if it’s not what your ego expected, give yourself the space to be honest and courageous in facing it. Take time to reflect. Journal your thoughts. Go for a walk. Allow your inner wisdom to surface without judgment. Then, return to your life’s drawing board and align your path with that raw, honest answer—free from fear or societal expectations. Your opinion of your success is the only one that truly matters. If you chase goals based on others’ expectations, you may find yourself alone in disappointment. But if you choose a path that honors your needs and truth, you will experience a blissful solitude—one filled with self-fulfillment. A Realization in Action A dear client of mine recently faced a crossroads in her career. After two decades of dedication to her job, she was finally considered for a prestigious position—one that required extensive travel and demanding hours. She was thrilled to be among the top candidates and eagerly attended her first major meeting far from home. However, as these meetings became more frequent, she began to feel the toll on her body and mind. In the end, the company selected another candidate, leaving her deeply disappointed. As we talked, I guided her through the same exercise above. Each time she answered, her response evolved. By the third question, she had an epiphany—she wasn’t truly passionate about the position. Deep down, she already knew she was talented and successful. She had been chasing external validation rather than inner fulfillment. A smile spread across her face as she realized she didn’t need that title to prove her worth. The Truth Within If we ask ourselves these three questions before every major decision, we might uncover truths buried deep within us. This practice offers a powerful way to connect with the most authentic version of ourselves. So, the next time you find yourself searching for success, pause. Listen. Define success on your own terms. Namaste, Shab
The Mirror Talks Back
What we do every day counts! How many times have you heard this phrase? I’ve seen and heard it countless times, but I never truly understood its essence. It’s essentially telling us that our daily routine sets the foundation for how our body and mind respond. From the personal hygiene rituals in the morning to the bedtime prep, every cell in our body is listening and reacting. The mind that we often refer to and point to in our heads actually exists in every cell of our body. When we look at ourselves in the mirror and experience negative thoughts, our liver cells, stomach cells, and every part of us are listening too. What we tell ourselves doesn’t just circulate in our heads but travels throughout our body, just like blood circulation. After cancer treatments and multiple procedures, I could only see what I had lost: a breast, a limb, my hair, my eyebrows, my clear skin, and my once beautiful body shape. Body image after cancer is not an easy subject to address or navigate alone. During chemo, I gained twenty-five pounds and had a hard time even recognizing myself. Who was that person in the mirror? The facial hair I used to complain about was now gone, and I missed it. My once slim and attractive figure now resembled the Pillsbury Doughboy. The flexible joints that made me look like a ballerina were now stiff and achy, reluctant to move. Going through cancer treatment isn’t for the faint of heart; I get that now. But what does that say about me? It tells me I’m resilient. I’m still here, fighting, taking life one day at a time, and moving forward. If I look back too much, I might shatter. It’s hard to believe what I’ve endured. If someone had told me that weekly chemo and endless blood tests would become my norm, I’d have wanted to give up before even starting. But what I didn’t realize was just how much I wanted to live. I want to see my children grow up, witness their successes, and live a healthier life myself. Not that I was unhealthy before, but there’s always room for improvement. Maybe I can adjust my thinking, declutter my home to create space to breathe or react to life with more calmness. These are small changes, but they can make a big difference. It’s hard to motivate myself to move after what my body has been through. Asking it to get up and walk daily feels like asking the impossible. If my body could talk, it would probably say, “Are you kidding me? You want me to do what now?” I get it. It’s easier to stay on the couch and binge-watch Netflix. It’s easier to avoid cleaning the kitchen or taking a shower. But as tempting as it is to stay in that comfort zone, I know I still have today—and today is an opportunity. So, I get up slowly and savor my morning drink. I take a quick shower, enjoying the massage I’m giving my tired skin. When the sun is out, I put on my walking shoes and hat, grab my walker, and head outside for a stroll. The fresh air and changing seasons remind me of life’s constant evolution. If the trees can let go of their leaves and wait for new ones, why can’t I embrace change too? My curly hair may not return, but maybe I can experiment with straight hair. My slim figure might not be back yet, but my walks might help me shed some pounds and regain strength. My missing breast will always be a loss, but there are ways to feel semi-normal on the surface. How I feel within, however, will take time to heal. I’ve decided to focus on small improvements. Progress isn’t always linear; sometimes, it’s two steps forward and one step back. But that’s okay. My goal is to live each day with better habits and a more positive mindset. One thing I’m certain of is that blaming my body or myself for my cancer isn’t the way to go. Instead, I’m replacing negative and fearful thoughts with encouraging words before they spread through my body. My daily routine matters more than ever, and what I do every day counts tremendously in shaping my health and happiness. So, what are you waiting for? Ask yourself: what change could make the most difference in your life right now? Start small, and let each step lead you closer to healing and hope. Namaste, Shab
