Once my brother and I accepted that our father needed to transition into Assisted Living, the next challenge was finding the right place for him. We wanted somewhere that would provide him with the care and structure he needed while still preserving his sense of independence and dignity. The search was daunting, filled with tough questions and emotional moments, but ultimately, it was a necessary step in ensuring his well-being.
We started by making a list of must-haves. A place with attentive staff, engaging activities, good medical support, and—most importantly—a welcoming community. We toured several facilities, each with its own set of pros and cons. Some places felt too clinical, others too impersonal. Some had impressive amenities but lacked the warmth we knew our father needed. It became clear that this wasn’t just about finding a place with good reviews; it was about finding a place that felt right.
One of the most difficult parts of the process was involving our father. We wanted his input, but we also knew that his cognitive decline made it hard for him to process the gravity of the situation. Sometimes, he resisted the idea altogether, wanting to stay in his home. Other times, he seemed open to the change but quickly forgot our conversations. It was a delicate balance—making sure he felt heard while also making the decision that was best for him.
We asked every question we could think of. How was the staff trained? How did they handle medical emergencies? What activities were available to keep residents engaged? How did they ensure new residents felt at home? We also paid close attention to the residents themselves—did they seem happy? Did they interact with one another? The energy of a place was just as important as its amenities.
After weeks of searching, we finally found the right place. It was warm and inviting, with a staff that genuinely cared about the residents. The facility had a good balance of independence and support, offering structured activities but also allowing residents the freedom to make their own choices. Most importantly, the people there—both staff and residents—felt like a community, not just a care center.
Even with all the research and preparation, the final decision was emotional. We knew this move symbolized a new chapter, one where our father would no longer be living in the home he had known for so long. But we also knew that this was the right decision for his safety, his health, and his quality of life.
In the next post, I’ll share what it was like to actually make the transition—how we helped our father adjust, the initial struggles, and the small victories that reassured us we had made the right choice.
