Do you ever use “I Statements”? What’s your experience with them? Helpful? Annoying? Something else?
“I-Statements” are a communication strategy for bringing up a concern or addressing a conflict with another. They typically follow this fill-in-the-blank format:
I feel _____________
When you _____________
Because _____________
I would like _____________
Yet, like so many communication strategies, many variables can make a simple method more complicated than meets the eye! See what you think about this “I-Statement” challenge.
Three nurses are at the nurses’ station. Two are talking about a new policy and a third, Donna, is reviewing a patient’s lab results. Donna is finding it difficult to concentrate.
Which is her best statement?
Image by Yerson Retamal from Pixabay
1) Shhhhh, stop talking!
2) I’m frustrated with your talking. It’s hard to concentrate and I’d appreciate it if you would quiet down.
Answer
It depends on what the relationships are and what Donna would like them to be!
If Donna has a positive history with them, #1 is probably fine. They’d likely apologize, lower their voices, and move on. If Donna doesn’t know them or there is tension among them, Donna would be wise to use an “I statement”, like #2. It would likely be perceived in a less-threatening more collaborative manner. These are important considerations in building new relationships or being more cautious when unresolved conflict may be present.
An “I-Statement” encourages speakers to show ownership about a concern, want, or need. It includes identification of emotions and invites other speakers to participate in the conversation in a collaborative fashion. In short, “I Statements”, when used properly:
- Increase the chance of effective communication and collaboration
- Lead to more efficient problem-solving and conflict resolution
- Validate many different perspectives
- Build and nourish relationships
- Build self-awareness, self-respect, and self-efficacy
They are not perfect or always effective yet, “I-Statements” are a valuable tool in building effective communication skills and collaborative relationships.
Medical Improv is a teaching modality used to build communication skills and promote trusting relationships. In the high-stakes, high-stress work of healthcare professionals, interactions should be effective, respectful, and compassionate – for everyone!
