After coming to terms with my father’s cognitive decline, my brother and I were confronted with a harsh reality: home was no longer a sustainable option. The house that had been a place of comfort and memories was now a source of stress, risk, and growing uncertainty. As much as we wanted to hold on, we knew that waiting too long to make a change could leave us with fewer and less desirable options for his care.
One of the biggest concerns we faced was the need to transition him into an Assisted Living facility before his cognitive state declined further. Many Assisted Living facilities have requirements—if a resident’s cognitive impairment progresses beyond a certain point, they may be moved to Memory Care. While Memory Care provides necessary supervision, it often comes with more restrictions, less independence, and a very different living environment. We wanted our father to have as much autonomy and dignity as possible for as long as possible, and that meant making a move sooner rather than later.
Selling his home was one of the most difficult and emotional steps in this process. This was the house where we grew up, where birthdays were celebrated, where countless memories were made. Sorting through his belongings felt like peeling back layers of our family history, each item a reminder of the life he had built. The logistics of preparing the house for sale—coordinating with real estate agents, dealing with legal paperwork, and handling the emotional weight of it all—was overwhelming.
Through it all, my brother and I leaned on each other. There were moments of frustration, disagreements over the best approach, and nights filled with exhaustion. But we both knew that at the heart of every decision was our father’s well-being. We had to put aside our emotions and focus on what was best for him.
The process of searching for an Assisted Living facility was another daunting task. We toured multiple places, each with its own set of strengths and weaknesses. We had endless questions—how involved was the staff? What was the community like? Would our father feel at home? It was a delicate balance between finding a place that met his needs while also feeling like a place he could comfortably transition into.
There were no easy answers in this journey. Every choice felt like a compromise, a trade-off between what we wished could be and what reality demanded. But as difficult as these decisions were, we knew we had to make them with courage and urgency.
