A New Caregiving Role
After my father was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, my life shifted yet again. Just when I had found some stability after my mother’s passing and the conclusion of my difficult divorce, I was pulled back into caregiving—this time for my father. His sudden partial paralysis brought on by the rare condition left him dependent on others. With him living two hours away, the challenge felt even greater.
The Emotional Toll
Watching my father struggle with basic tasks was heartbreaking. It stirred up memories of my mother’s illness, reviving emotions I had hoped were behind me. Balancing my father’s needs with my own responsibilities as a mother and working professional quickly became overwhelming. The long drives to his appointments and the coordination of his care consumed much of my time and energy. Emotionally, it felt like I was being pulled back into a cycle I had just escaped.
Support from My Brother
Thankfully, I wasn’t alone in caring for my father. My brother, a high school math teacher, was incredibly supportive during this time. Despite his own demanding schedule, he often stepped in to help with Dad’s care, taking on many responsibilities that would have been impossible for me to handle alone. He was also instrumental in offering me much-needed emotional support, helping me talk through the guilt, stress, and exhaustion I felt. His presence made the burden more bearable, and I’m not sure how I would have managed without him.
Balancing Career and Caregiving
Though I had rebuilt my career and life after the divorce, my father’s needs began to affect my ability to focus at work. Weekends that had once been for family time or personal recovery became devoted to managing his care. The strain on my career and personal life was undeniable, and I felt the same juggling act I had endured with my mother’s illness repeating itself.
Finding Moments of Relief
Exercise remained a critical outlet for me. Whether it was a long walk or a tough workout, it gave me a way to release the stress of caregiving. I also leaned on close friends and, of course, my brother for emotional support. This network of support made a difficult time more manageable and reminded me that I didn’t have to go through it alone.
Letting Go of Guilt
There were moments of frustration—feelings of resentment not towards my father, but towards the situation itself. After years of building myself back up, I was again navigating the exhausting world of caregiving. Accepting those mixed emotions, and sharing them with my brother, helped me let go of the guilt and realize that feeling conflicted didn’t mean I wasn’t a good daughter or caregiver.
Moving Forward, One Day at a Time
As my father’s condition progressed, I tried to focus on the time we had together rather than the overwhelming demands of his care. With my brother’s help and the support of professional caregivers, I learned to prioritize what truly mattered. Though caregiving was still difficult, it became an act of love rather than a burden, and I began to move forward—one day at a time.
