Have you ever reflected on your life and surprised yourself with what you discovered?
Beyond the traditional years of schooling, I dedicated an additional ten years to college and specialized training. Thousands of dollars were spent, countless hours of study, and an immense amount of energy went into fulfilling my internship and externship requirements.
Life didn’t pause while I pursued my education, nor did it slow down when I became a mother. It certainly didn’t wait when I fell ill and had to focus on recovery. I was riding the wave of my own life—a journey uniquely mine, one that no one else could truly experience the way I did.
Yet, despite overcoming countless challenges and navigating life’s ups and downs, I still find myself being my own harshest critic, constantly demanding more. But why? What is wrong with this picture? I am still chasing the success I once envisioned in my youth.
However, as I approach my 60s, I realize that the meaning of success has begun to evolve. I recall my elders advising me to enjoy life and to understand that goals are not just destinations but part of the journey itself. At the time, I nodded politely, but did I truly listen? Only now, with a shorter road ahead than behind me, do I fully grasp their wisdom.
Looking back, my journey has been long. There were moments when I had the opportunity to change paths, yet I stayed the course. I took a leap of faith once, and it turned out to be the right one for me. I did my best with the knowledge and awareness I had at the time. Instead of dwelling on what could have or should have been, I choose to see every step as a valuable lesson.
The Universe Has a Plan
If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that the Universe never acts without purpose. It works alongside you, like a loyal friend, nudging you out of your comfort zone when necessary and presenting new lessons when the time is right. It doesn’t place blame but rather encourages self-reflection. If you miss a lesson, it will return in another form, gently reminding you that there is still a chapter left unread.
The moment you trust this process, you will experience unwavering support unlike anything else. The Universe provides in alignment with your thoughts. You don’t even need to voice your desires—it responds to your energy. Life becomes so effortless that doubt fades, replaced by a deep sense of knowing.
Redefining Success: A Simple Exercise
The next time you find yourself questioning success, try this:
- Ask yourself: What does success mean to me? (Let your mind give you a quick, instinctive answer.)
- Ask again: What does success mean to me? (Strip away external influences—no one’s opinion matters but your own.)
- Ask one more time: What does success mean to ME? (Dig deeper. How does this definition make you feel? Will achieving it brings genuine happiness?)
Sit with your final answer. Even if it’s not what your ego expected, give yourself the space to be honest and courageous in facing it.
Take time to reflect. Journal your thoughts. Go for a walk. Allow your inner wisdom to surface without judgment.
Then, return to your life’s drawing board and align your path with that raw, honest answer—free from fear or societal expectations. Your opinion of your success is the only one that truly matters. If you chase goals based on others’ expectations, you may find yourself alone in disappointment. But if you choose a path that honors your needs and truth, you will experience a blissful solitude—one filled with self-fulfillment.
A Realization in Action
A dear client of mine recently faced a crossroads in her career. After two decades of dedication to her job, she was finally considered for a prestigious position—one that required extensive travel and demanding hours. She was thrilled to be among the top candidates and eagerly attended her first major meeting far from home. However, as these meetings became more frequent, she began to feel the toll on her body and mind.
In the end, the company selected another candidate, leaving her deeply disappointed. As we talked, I guided her through the same exercise above. Each time she answered, her response evolved. By the third question, she had an epiphany—she wasn’t truly passionate about the position. Deep down, she already knew she was talented and successful. She had been chasing external validation rather than inner fulfillment. A smile spread across her face as she realized she didn’t need that title to prove her worth.
The Truth Within
If we ask ourselves these three questions before every major decision, we might uncover truths buried deep within us. This practice offers a powerful way to connect with the most authentic version of ourselves.
So, the next time you find yourself searching for success, pause. Listen. Define success on your own terms.
Namaste,
Shab
